Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Could it be... Good News?

Current mood: tenatively happy

So I'm definately not kicked out of my program. The test was declared at least somewhat on the faulty side and steps are being made to streamline the process. So the test will not count against my two chances of taking it.
However as my mind works these days I have allready began worrying about August. What sort of misery will I have pop up come late-July or early-August. Each test attempt has been ushered in by such wonderful news the last three times. Could it be possible that my taking of this test is cursed? Will I lose a limb in a strange cooking accident in July, or will I be struck by lightning next August? hmmmm my lease is up come August, and my landlord's son is dating my Ex. Could that be what happens, maybe I'll be forced to leave the place i've called home for 3 years the week of my test? Or will I actullay be able to have a clear head for a month leading into the test. I know, I know folks that there's allways something going on, but I hope that whatever the hell my drama is come August it will be at least a little less of the my life hinges in the balance sort of drama. Cause the test is in itself that... and quite frankly that's enough for me.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Canadian Hippies

So I saw the Broken Social Scene collective on Saturday and boy were there alot of people on stage. Behind Belle and Sebastian and the always overcrowded Polyphonic Spree it was the most people I've seen on stage for a rock show. They put up a wall of sound and played for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Definately worth the price of admision (20 songs * an avg of 10 people on stage at a time = 200... divide the 25 bucks it cost for the show by 200 that's 12.5 cents per band member for each song.) Several band members also jumped into the crowd to hug people durring the thoroughly depressing Lovers Spit. I did not get a hug from the band though. (I'd make a sad face here with my keyboard but that shit is kinda anoying)
The take home message from the show was "teach your children to be assasins." Something any self respecting Canadian might think of the American political system... But look out Canadians... your political system is starting to turn in a not so liberal direction as well.
On other fronts... Well let's not speak of that for now... Well I'm trying to ignore everything else right now.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

So Aparently

Current mood: tired of my current mood
Category: Life

I wasn't the only one who felt completely blind sided by this test. Got an email askin for my comments on the test... Don't know what that means but I guess it bodes well for the possibility of me sticking around the program. So that's good news I guess.

Colin Meloy Sings

Category: Music

No I'm not blogging about my godamn poopy life right now.
cause I saw the lead singer of the decemberists play a solo show last night. I was not too excited... He's kind of a big Ham, and while this makes me laugh... it was hard to see how he was going to blow me away. He came out on stage and introduced his friends, a stuffed sheep, a skull, a boat, and a bottle of wine that were sitting on a table and all aparently have been personified with names (Someone in the balcony actually named the bottle of wine Gerard.) The set was pretty good and got increasingly interesting. Colin played a few songs from his cover EP of Shirly Collins songs with John Wesley Harding and some songs you wouldn't hear the decemberists normally do, which was fairly interesting. The crowd really responded to him, humming and wistling sections of the familiar tunes filling in for some of the loss in instrumentation. The piece that blew me away was the fact that Colin had the audacity to play California One... a 10 minute anthemic rock song with multiple sections, and normally played as an almost Orchestral rock piece. When he started playing it I had to lean forward in my seat thinking this is some kinda joke. He played the whole song, and to hear one of my favorite songs stripped down to its naked backbone was quite an experience. The addition of a mini-cover of the Smiths "Ask" had me in tears, but I'm a sensitive guy these days as you may know. I would strongly recomend seeing Colin Meloy solo if you have any interest in the Decemberists, it's an entirely new way to hear some quality music.
bill

Monday, January 23, 2006

Well that sucked

So I picked up a friend of my mind this morning at eight feeling confident. She was proctoring the exam and I sspent and hour or so going over cards... I knew what I set out to know. I could cover any of the main neuropsychological illness, any major neurotransmitter system, anything involving dopamine, all the major neurotransmitter systems, I could spot anyone with dementia from 100 yards, receptors, second messangers, sensory system transduction, attention, working memory, blah blah and blah and obviously after the last three weeks I had developed a certain intimate familiarity with emotional issues.

Then I got test. 1 question from a class I don't even have to take. Two questions with large portions not stressed in class, one that I should have studied more (my bad) and one that I thought no way in hell would they put that on there. So I went outside to have a smoke and vent off a bit. Then I went back upstairs and did the best with the knowledge that was in my head. Most likely I failed, I give myself a 5% chance of passing... I wouldn't pass me.

So there's some sort of apeals process... So I still might have another shot at it. I'm not a good loser, so hopefully I can get one more shot at it. I can't believe I've carried a 3.9 in a program (It be over 4, if A+ counted) and was not able to pass the test. I really don't like failure.

Well that's it for know. Gonna drink a Guinness tonight, and tomorrow I will clean up the mess of my apartment... and hopfelly hit the reset button as start somthing new.

It is good to have one worry out of my way... lord knows I got enough right now.

bill

Friday, January 20, 2006

So I started

by puting a few things up from my myspace blog... Sort of lets you know where I'm coming from and why I feel the need to blabber out into cyberspace. For the most part I will probably blabber on about what it's like to live here in NYC, not being one of them. A friend of mine... an Israeli girl originally, but to me seems very much so a New Yorker, refers to me as the most American Guy she knows. I still don't know if that's a insult, compliment or a little of both.

New York is not America... it is it's own thing entirely. That's what I love about it, that's what I hate about it.

It's all gonna break

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm taking a little break from studying, and figured I'd listen to this here tune.

I've been obsessed with this song since I first saw Broken Social Scene open up for Dinosaur Jr. in Central Park last summer. They are one of these large rock bands with horns and keyboards and proably someone just banging on sticks in the back. This song in particular has been useful, I know the lyrics don't sound all that uplifting but it's sort of a celebration of the futility of life. Accepting that the good in life is inescapably linked to the bad. Well anyway here's the lyrics to the afformentioned song, a little cryptic and a little less effective without the music but... they're playing next weekend here in New York, I'm pretty sure they're sold out but if you can get hands on tickets I would strongly suggest it.

It's all... gonna break
Well It's all... gonna break,

When I was a kid
You fucked me in the ass
But I took my pen to my paper
And I passed you

You know I love this shit
'Cause the shit tastes so good
I've got cops just waiting in the woods

'Cause it's all...gonna break
It's all... gonna Break.

Singers like the sound
Sounds like, oh well?
I know times like these are the hell, and
Waiting through tricks
The tricks look so good
I've got everyone's waiting in the woods

They try to climb away
and call me over
The skies are red
And the skies are sober
Minds they fade
And minds roll over
It's good...

And I know that you're dying
I know that it's true
I know that there's seven thousand things
That you'd (rather be and) rather do

And I know
That you fuck
What you love
And you love
What you fuck

I'll keep 'em (all) good
I'll keep it true
I'll do everything 'cause
I obviously love you

'Cause I know
That the sound
Of your heart
Is a god
I can trust
Like a man
Not a boy

I don't know
I'll just die
When the fire goes out
in ourselves

'Cause it's all...gonna break

You want, you want
The lovely music
To save your life...

Keep it coming
There is no lie
To save your life
Keep it coming

This is the lie
To save your life

Why are you always fucking ghosts...

It's been such a long life
that we trust
Your heart
Is it whole
And love
Is just lust
You want
But you can't
You can't

Cause I feel
We've got
To get
Out of here

And why are you always,
Why are you allways,
Why, Why, Why....