300

Let me start by saying I just read the comic book... and really enjoyed the merciless nature in it. And if I were a 12 year old boy this movie would be the most fucking awesome creation in the history of man. It had everything, buckets of blood, multiple beheading, creatures, incredibly hot writhing naked women, freakish pimply old guys who like gold, and a big fat dude with swords for arms... That's right swords for fucking arms. AWESOME.

Sadly I am not a 12 year old boy. So let me sum up 300 through my 30 year old eyes. The basic plot revolves around this group of guys with CGI abs and pectoral muscles who like to scream and yell a lot, as well as cut off the heads of various things. There's lots of slow motion killing, with emphasis on the CGI abs. There's a lot of homoerotic images (did I mention the CGI abs?) including one of the 8 foot tall bad guy standing behind our king and hero with his arms caressing his shoulders making statements like "and you will feel my all mighty power." I was the only one in the theater who found this funny at all, much to the chagrin of the entire theater as I gigled for about a minute and a half. This movie though a faithful adaptation of the comic book's images, is a big fat pile of crap. The fact that the Iranian government felt the need to condemn this big pile of doggie dookie is even more reason to laugh.

And lastly, the fanboy issue. This is the director that is going to bring Watchmen to the screen. Please somebody stop that from happening, this director does not have the depth to bring a story like Watchmen to life. If you haven't read it... well read it... it's the reason the term graphic novel was invented.