Monday, July 23, 2007

Grinding on the Subway

This did not happen to me... but it could have. It's a little diddy I heard from a friend. Requires a little bit of background info:

Here in New York on the subway almost every girl has had one instance were a man inappropriately rubbed his crotch on them... well according to this story maybe not. Cause every guy knows that they were once accused of rubbing inappropriately against a woman. I was once yelled at because the corner of my computer bag apparently had violated a woman's ass. This is not to say that all cases of subway foul play are fake... I once saw a dude o the E train (a packed E train) with his dick through his fly masturbating. Well anyway here it is.

"I get on the train this morning and it's packed. Packed like
sardines, packed, where you can't move an arm to gain better purchase
on one of the bars or handholds yet don't bounce around because
you're being held stationary by the other passengers pressed in
around you. I was against the closed subway doors and the rest of the
car was filled with a middle school field trip, a bunch of yelling,
singing 14 year olds. There were three girls in front of me standing
in a smooshed together circle, talking with one another about whatever.

When the train entered the tunnel it started swaying wildly back and
forth, slamming one of the girls' booties smack into my crotch,
repeatedly, but there was no way to move or reposition ourselves and
this went on for about two minutes as I embarrassingly looked at the

Ghetto Booty Girl #1: Shit, she must feel violated.

Ghetto Booty Girl #2: I would feel violated.

Ghetto Booty Girl #1: At least he's hot.

Ghetto Booty Girl #3: looks at me tartly.

Me: (thinking) Hey, I'm hot! Cool!

Then all three, (these girls were kind of sluts I guess), started
dancing, BUMPING AND GRINDING with the one girl wiggling her booty
against my freakin' crotch. Again, in case you missed it, they were
14 years old. So now everyone else on the train, the teachers
especially, start looking at me like I'm some kind of crazy pervert.

Me: Now I feel violated.

Rest of train: laughter

Ghetto Booty Girl #1, 2 and 3: Woooo!

Union Square stop my doors opened and I ran.

And that was my commute this morning."


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