"You're God Damn Right!!!"

Yeah folks not only do the cubs clinch, but the hated Mets drop a game down of the Phillies.
Ya got to feel a little sorry for the Brewers... nice shot kids, sorry you ran into the 300 million dollar buzz saw that it the Cubs, but not too sorry. Hopefully I'll get some playoff tickets again.

So know I'm listening to a bunch of drunk people calling into WGN and saying dumb shit.

Speaking of drunks saying dumb shit here's homer with one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meGgSOl8470

I'll leave you with a link to some Mountain Goats, unleashing Cubs in Five at the Pitchfork Festival from the Summer of 2006. I'm seeing them Monday, may see them Tuesday too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9F8lhtkD7Q

Turkey trip

is now complete and in order so please scroll down. The pictures are clickable so click on them they'll get bigger (Dad no internet porn jokes please).

Turkey Trip (Part 1 : Flying there)

So I left for Turkey the usual way, taking the E train to the monorail. While on the train Rachel turns to me and asks "Do you Want to get married now?"

I looked over at her... hesitated and said, "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

She looked at me like I was a complete boob and said "I meant should I put on my fake wedding ring now?" Well at least I hesitated.

The flight was on British Airways, so I got to watch Dr. Who on the flight. We landed in London after circling Heathrow for about 45 minutes. The reputation the British have for being polite was tested. A guy manning a train into the city could barely look up from a newspaper to tell us how to get into the city. At an information desk someone was sorely misinformed or just outright lied to us about the existence of a night bus to and from the airport. Finally we found a guy @ the underground ticket booth who explained us where we could get a bite to eat and catch a beer.

We left for West Hanslow, an Indian neighborhood in London. We stopped at a god awful pub... and we caught a beer. After last call we wondered around looking for a place to eat. We ended up at this Indian place that was absolutely fabulous. After that we wondered around drinking on the street and having a general blast. After that we took the night bus back to Heathrow and drank one last beer in a handicapped bathroom, where both of us misread a sign that said "nappy waste" (Nappy is British for pooh filled diapers) as "Happy waste" (the concept of which was rather amusing to me).

After hanging out with a British guy who came back from Russia with too many packs of cigarettes and too many bottles of Vodka, and a bunch of Michigan college girls on holiday, I got very little sleep and started the mad push to get into the airport. The British once again showed their lack of politeness. Pushing and shoving people out of their way to get into the terminal and get a 9 dollar late from Starbucks. When we finally got onto the plane we got one of the most disgusting breakfasts ever. Microwaved steak eggs and potatoes on a bed of rotten microwaved tomatoes. Oh well... at least British food lives up to it's reputation, even if it's people don't.

Turkey Trip (part 2 : Istanbul)

So we landed in Istanbul and wondered around looking for our ride to the first hotel, whom after 30 minutes had Rachel paged (for all of you who were worried about me going to a Muslim country yes they paged Rachel's very Jewish name in the airport and no one gave a damn). The ride in gave us our first view of the completely insane form of driving done in this country. Speed limits are suggestions, and red lights... well... they just slow down a little.

The hotel was nice. We had twin beds like they did in the Dick Van Dyke show. A cool little patio on the ground floor and a rooftop place to catch a bite. The weather wasn't that bad either, it was in the low eighties most of the time we were in Turkey, and not humid at all.

We took a walk through Sultanahmet and over a bridge... we both thought it was very cool that we were walking to Asia... however later we realized we didn't. There were stray cats everywhere... even in old ruined buildings. We got kind of lost and took a long walk up a hill, and there was a Turkish Bath, a Turkish porn store, and not a woman is sight save Rachel. We finally figured out where we were going and walked up a different hill for a mile and a half to the most disappointing food of the entire trip.

On our way back we proceeded to get lost again, but I was so enchanted I almost didn't care. After a little night cap of Fanta on the roof we crashed.

The next day we hit an archaeological museum that was in the Sultan's Palace park. We didn't go to the Palace... I'm sure it would have been fantastic, but it was expensive and packed with tourists. For myself the most fascinating part of the museum was the history of the search for Troy, and how an amateur found and destroyed a good deal of the historical record by digging right through the time period he was looking for.

We also started bumping into foreign signs that I found interesting.

Don't ask me what's going on here. But whatever it is it's cool:

I'm guessing these signs mean "stay the hell away!":

And this elephant looks like it's having fun:

After a trip to a new hostel and meeting a very polite hostel worker. We ate some turkish pizza, wrote some post cards, and drank some Turkish beer (Efes, pronounced like saying "f" then "s", which was a really good beer pick one up sometime.) After checking out the Grand Bazaar, we had a couple more beers then walked back over the bridge where the leaders of Istanbul decided to blast off some fireworks marking our arrival. We tried to take the tram back to the hostel but we only made it two stops as the packed tram car had the two distinct nasty smells of rotten salami, and pungent body odor. It might have been in the top 5 worst smells I have experienced in my life.

That night was the toughest of the trip. The bed was lumpy...I woke up with a few lines of bed bug bites. There were screaming birds outside all night. But the worst was the cats. They were in heat and making the most ungodly noises you could imagine. And after they got done fucking they started fighting... Cats screaming alternatively in ecstasy and in pain over and over and over for hours. Then what sounded like the world's loudest garbage truck apparently flew right past our fourth floor window to clean up the mess the cats left.

After no sleep whatsoever, the next day would appear to be ruined. Ha on your negative view of the world. For me drinking a gigantic iced coffee is kind of like getting eight ours of sleep. We did standard tourist stuff today. The first of which was Aya Sofia, a church built in the 6th century (the third to be built on the spot) by Emperor Justinian I. It was turned into a mosque in the 1400's by the Ottoman Sultan. And the national hero of Turkey Ataturk made it a public museum (thus no official religious denomination) in 1935. It was a stunning bit of work. One of the more interesting things, well for me, was all the graffiti. So many people saw this beautiful work of art and carved their names, racial comments, etc. into it. Hell, there was Viking graffiti from the 9th century. It never ceases to amaze me that people feel their need to scrawl their name into other people's shit, much less a centuries old work of art. Some odd bits also survive, part of the tile work contained swastikas, long before it became a symbol of intolerance. Buried in the building are also several crusaders... highlighting one of the sorer sections of western history. At one point I walked out onto the roof through an open door... I don't think I belonged there, apparently the roof was storage for cleaning supplies. But I just can't resist an open door, especially one in a tall landmark.

Then we hit the Museum of Islamic Art. The most interesting thing there was an exhibit of contemporary art celebrating the relationship Turkey had with South Korea, and displayed were a slew of Turkish artists and South Korean artists.

Then it was on to the Blue Mosque. Built to rival Aya Sophia by the Ottoman Empire leader Ahmed I. It was an intense experience, as it was a working mosque, something I had not experienced. It was absolutely beautiful and felt like a holy place.





























The visitors showed a lack of respect for the religion. As their are many rules regarding the code of dress etc. that the tourists refused to follow. How hard is it for a guy to wear pants and a girl to cover their head? A good example is this picture... you tell me what's wrong with it.
This is just a small sample of the 100 people sitting on the steps outside.

After a delicious meal of a meat and potato thingie that tasted like shepard's pie with chicken it was off to the airport for a flight to Cappadocia.

Turkey Trip (part 3 : Cappadocia)

So we took a flight to Cappadocia that took about 2 hours. We arrived @ 11PM and was picked up by two dudes in a car that was all tripped out like one of those cars in fast and the furious. It was a little Volkswagen with tinted windows, a spoiler, and a loud stereo system blasting Turkish pop music. It took us about 45 minutes to drive to our destination the UFUK Pension (not making that name up). There we were informed that we had a dorm style room, which was a cave with 6 beds in it. The whole time we were there we had the room to ourselves and we were only paying 8 bucks a piece for it.

So we left Istanbul, one of the largest cities of the world at night, we arrived in the middle of nowhere and outside was a mystery to me, as from the car through the tinted windows I could see nothing. Well I woke up early, at about 6 in the morning and I walked outside and I saw this:


Easily the strangest landscape I had ever seen. It looked like something out of a sci-fi movie.

That morning we got on a tour bus to see a bunch of stuff. We started with a little explanation of the landscape (something about volcanic ash, and flows of lava at two different temperatures.) The rock left by the volcanoes in this region you could sculpt with your hands lending it-self to being carved. Rooms are carved in these cone-like structures referred to as fairy chimneys. It is also so easy to be sculpted that there are underground cities. The one we went to was called Derinkuyu. It was a place built primarily by christians hiding from religious persecution. The city was 100 meters deep, and could house hundreds if not over a thousand people.

From there we headed to the Ihlara Valley. This was a natural structure that looked like about a 500-foot deep canyon, however it was created not by water, but by earth splitting away from itself during an earthquake. A beautiful stream ran at the bottom of the canyon while the walls were littered with cave like formations. As we drove up I noticed that there were houses built on the canyon wall, didn’t look safe but hey it was pretty. This is one of the places I would like to have had a whole day to explore.

A moment on tour groups… I like the fact that I speak English, because it’s become such an international language. In my tour group there were a bunch of Italians, (2 of which were trying to score with our bus driver) a French couple, some peace sign loving Koreans (who took pictures of everything… I know it’s a stereotype but… well they did.), some Turkish people, and a few people whom I didn’t know what. It was nice to walk around with such a patchwork group.

We stopped to have lunch in the valley and then headed off to the Selime Monastery. This was a religious community that carved its structures into the side of a small mountain. More spectacular than the underground city, which was partially due to the fact that the open mountain face allowed enough light for one to see the structures created.

Lastly was the tourist trap. We went to turquoise land…. for a jewelry demonstration (AKA we’re gonna try and sell you some overpriced crap). Here I got a sweet picture of a tourist taking a picture of some garbage on a wall.

The next day we started with some borekas (breakfast pastry containing meet, veggies, potatoes or cheese) along with an interesting sign about where Turkish or Israeli borekas are better. Then it was off to the Gorme Open Air Museum. It was packed with tourists (we tagged on to a Japanese, Chinese, and an Italian tour group just to get into some of the churches), but was worth the hassle. Basically it was more churches sculpted into the volcanic rock. Here there were murals that were a thousand years old yet still contained vivid color. In addition, there were clearly graves in many of the rooms some left displayed with bodies still in them.

After a delicious lunch we rented scooters and tooled around the countryside. It was an absolute blast. I would like to post a picture of Rachel looking a little “special” in her red helmet here, but I think she’s kill me. If you see the ole’ slide show next time ya see me you’ll see it. Here I saw the coolest sogn of the trip... the ole' turtle crossing sign.

That night, unable to sleep, I went for a walk. I ended up at the Flintstones Cave Bar as they were blasting "Sweet Home Chicago. Always nice to hear a little of home so far away.

The next morning we got up early to get a look at the balloons. There were 20 or so hot air balloons that got launched every morning. It cost 200 bucks so I couldn’t afford it… and come to think of it I would be terrified inside one of these things. We had a breakfast of gozleme, which is another fried breakfast pastry. It was fantastic, I can’t stress the fact that Turkish food is wonderfully, mouth-wateringly delicious enough.

Then it was off to the cooshiest bus I’ve ever been on for a ride to Egirdir (pronounced “A”-yer-der).

Turkey Trip (part 4 : Egirdir)

Egirdir is an idyllic lake community surrounded by mountains. The water was so clear you could see the bottom of the lake when the water was over your head. The food here was delicious… especially at a little place called Melodie (even if the service there sucked). The town was mostly filled with vacationing Turks, there was only a few people around who spoke English which was refreshing, to feel like a real foreigner… not just a tourist.

When we got there we walked a mile and a half from the bus station to our hotel. The hotel had an absolutely beautiful view out our balcony. The town has 2 small islands connected by a road to the mainland. We stayed on the island furthest out into the water.

The next morning we walked into town where there was some sort of open-air flea market thing going on. There were gigantic vats of cheese, fish everywhere, toys of an odd nature and bottles of Pantine that after being purchased clearly did not contain Pantine.

We ate something a little funky and Rachel got sick, with me following suit the next day. We spent some time trying to find Pepto Bismol for a while and failed. I was walking around with my shirt off to go swimming and locals showed off their English skills by yelling, “White!” and laughing. I guess pale people are amusing to Turks.

The last night there the insects came out cause the temp increased and the wind slowed down, so this truck drove around spraying the nastiest throat gagging chemicals into the air. The bugs however would swarm around the streetlights, making the light itself look alive.

There was to be a triathlon the day after we left so by the last day there were a lot of European people running, swimming and cycling around the island. There was also a large military presence as there was a hill upon which kommandos were trained.

To be honest we didn’t do much, but outside of the sick feeling it was the most relaxed section of the vacation.

Addendum to Egirdir

All I got to say is check out the fish head.

Turkey Trip (part 5 : Fethiye and the Turquoise Coast)

After Egirdir it was off to the Turquoise coast, Fethiye and a 3-day pleasure cruise. We stopped in Isparta to change buses, and there was rows of stores selling rose oil… all in the same gaudy containers. When we stopped off a bunch of children approached us (well Rachel) with a scale and started to try and weight her. Apparently this is a service one is supposed to pay for… buy Rachel would have nothing to do with it. Her and the little kid had an exchange that went something like this.

“Weigh?” said the kid surrounded by his lackeys.

“No” replied Rachel.

“Yes” said the kid.

“No”

“Yes”

“No” and so on. We eventually got away and the kids found a new target.


Our second bus ride there was fantastic, ad the bus driver had one of those musical horns, and blasted it out at any and all people we came upon. We also drove through a forest ravaged by forest fires, and acres and acres of land was clearly toasted.

Fethiye itself was very, very touristy. Large bars blasting western music, restaurants with western foods, MacDonald’s, and the GAP were all available for the western tourist. There was nothing terribly interesting in town, although the natural beauty abounded.

After our one night there we were supposed to meet at the Marina restaurant @ 10:30 AM to get on the boat. So we went to the Marina and walked to the restaurant inside... and waited... and waited. Getting concerned I started running around looking for our boat. I found out there was another restaurant called the Marina Restaurant and after a little bit of running here and running there we were on the boat and off into the Mediterranean.

The boat contained about 10 cabins and we had a nice mix, a family of four Italians, 5 Turks, 4 Australians (including the El Capitan's girlfriend), and 4 people from Queens. It was a fairly good mix. There was one Australian guy in particular about 25 years old, who was refreshing, he was well read, politically active and informed and a pleasure to talk to.

So we set off and drifted from island to island. We jumped off the boat and swam in the water (well for myself something that resembles swimming). I got to snorkel quite a bit, which was a blast. The first night we spent below a Greek ruin, I didn't leave the boat though as Rachel wasn't feeling well. After dinner we climbed on top of the boat and watched the stars, occasional shooting stars burning upon entry to the atmosphere.


The next day we stopped at an Island where we got off and walked around an olive grove, which was littered with jagged outcroppings of rock. We found an oddly constructed circular pen... some bones, big ones, femurs of some animal... the place had this whole Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibe... which was cool. After Rachel headed back to the boat I headed up to the top of the mountain, just cause. There were these winding paths cut into the side of the mountain where the goats walk. And for the most part I followed these paths up to the top, which gave me a stunning view of the surrounding area.
We stopped in a cute little town the last day we were on the boat and I got an Iced coffee ice cream float. Yum. The food on the boat was just as good. We had a fabulous seafood meal the second night, with calamari, shrimp, and fish all straight outta the sea. The last night we had barbecue that was absolutely delicious.

After three days of floating around the Mediterranean I was ready for something new and when we got off the boat we headed for the bus station with visiting the ancient city of Pergamon as the goal.

Turkey Trip (part 6: Bergama)

The ride to Bergama was fun. The first thing that happened was we drove a rode up a mountain (it was actually a plateau I realized when I got to the top). There were all these people selling the most adorable little sheep stuffed animals, occasionally there would be alittle tur off ad there would be 50 stuffed animals arranged in it. Then we went through Izmir, a city of over a million. The city sprawled to and fro. Up onto hills, down into valleys the small buildings popped up everywhere. They even had an IKEA. We got off the bus at a gigantic bus station, and a sketchy guy came up to us… apparently I looked confused (I might always have that look on my face).

“Where you going?” he asked.

Taken aback the two of us, thinking of how one might react in new york city to this type of behavior, didn’t answer right away. “Bergama” eventually I say.

“Bus to Bergama at number145.” He responded.

Low and behold at gate number 145 sat a bus to Bergama leaving I five minutes. I can’t stress enough how nice and helpful everyone was for the most part.

After another 2 hours on a bus we got to Bergama, where the ancient city of Pergamon sits on top of a hill. After being begged to go to several different hostels, we ended up finding our own. Then headed out for food, ending up at a Beer Garden which was packed in with men watching a football match. Rachel was one of about 4 women I the whole place. There was this ridiculous fountain in the center filled with green water… yeah green. Two ducks swam about in the fountain shaking green out of their tail feathers when they got out to beg for food. There were also stray cats running to and fro, including some of the cutest little kittens I’ve ever seen.

The next morning, the hottest day of the trip, we decided to walk up to Pergamon. We got lost, but quite frankly it was delightful as we walked through these old decaying yet colorful alleyways. After getting through the maze we started up the hill. We walked through the ruins of the gymnasium building, then up to a building with the most interesting mosaics. The floor was filled with demons and faces screaming. Having to pee and in desperate need for water, we pounded up the rest of the hill. We then got to see the acropolis ruins, and the most impressive piece the open-air theater. The last bit of the ruins was the Zeus monument, the entirety of the structure, which apparently was taken by the Germans for 20,000 German Marks in the late 1800s. They took the altar piece by piece and reconstructed it, in a museum built for that purpose. The Turkish people are obviously a little more protective of its antiquities these days. It’s funny the general “excuse” for this behavior of European countries of taking such treasures is that they will be better cared for, but many these treasures were damaged during bombing in WWII.
Walking up and down this hill I popped my head into an old bathroom and there were all these sheep. They completely freaked out. I could tell this by the fact that they all immediately started shitting. What a herd of sheep is doing in an unused decaying bathroom in a historical site... I don't know?

After getting down it was too hot to do anything but go to the beer garden that night and get a little loaded. Trip almost over… I want to cry.

Turkey trip (part 7: on the way home)

So we took our longest bus ride back to Istanbul and were surrounded by children.
One sitting about 6 seats in front and to the left seemed a little "special." as he would smile at his dad while his dad held him up in the air... then i realized why his dad held him up... because if he didn't the kid would lick his face. euck. There were also about 8 kids sitting around us playing peek at the goofy pale Americans.

Rachel and I debated getting off and taking a ferry into the city... but then we ended up on a ferry. The ferry sadly went to the Asian suburbs of Istanbul so we were on the bus for another 3 and a half hours of stuck in traffic driving (at least it was pretty at times). At one point we took an hour long detour about 5 blocks off the highway to drop off two people. The bus station, when we finally got there, sucked. It clearly had bee built when the city was smaller... it was a confusing jumble of subterranean and elevated areas. We found a cab to take us to our hotel... but not before he took us around in a giant circle and then getting us stuck in traffic a few blocks from our hotel when he could have easily have taken us right there while avoiding driving all the way around the blue mosque. We got to the hotel where we quickly realized the price we were quoted was not 40 New Turkish Lira, it was 40 Euros (the difference was about 50 bucks US) but we kept the room as it was really nice (window looked out over the blue mosque). It was easily the most difficult day of the trip. After trying to find a place to eat, we ended up at our favorite little Turkish pizza place, had a few beers ad I smoked a water pipe (It's better in Turkey than Chicago Dave).

The next day we shopped for some gifts (most of which are still sitting in my living room) then headed out to the airport for our flight to London... dreading the awful British airline food we spent our last 7 lira on french fries from Burger King.

London was fun as hell we walked around and the crowds were insane. Occasionally groups would pass us in costume... usually period pieces... groups of people in eighties.. seventies or sixties clothing. There was also an alien and a Santa Claus. We wondered about ate @ a nice little Italian place and saw the sights. I was amazed by the sheer amount of alcohol on the street, empty bottles littered the Thames, and there were video cameras everywhere. It was a odd town like New York City if everyone were demanded to take speed daily. Some lady clearly on a drug of some sort (probably E) came up and felt Rachel's face (note to everyone in the world: don't do this Rachel doesn't like it).

We took the night bus back to the airport where once again it was mad chaos. No one knew where to tell us to go because the place we were told to go was locked. Eventually we got to our terminal... to the long flight home... and watched the Simpsons movie and tried to stay awake.

All right just stop it

I like Donovan McNabb. I like him a lot. But seriously players need to stop pulling out the race card every time someone gives them crap in the media.

from ESPN "I pass for 300 yards, our team wins by seven, [mimicking] 'Ah, he could've made this throw, they would have scored if he did this,' " McNabb tells HBO.

Doesn't every quarterback go through that?" Brown asks. "Not everybody," McNabb replies.

Brown then asks if the media is tougher on him than on white quarterbacks such as Carson Palmer and Peyton Manning.

"Let me start by saying I love those guys," McNabb tells HBO. "But they don't get criticized as much as we do. They don't."

News flash to Mr. McNabb. You play in Philly. Philly... they booed Mike Schmidt for heavens sake.... ya can't get more white than Schmidt. You get more criticism because you play in Philly not because of the color of your skin.

I heard Steven A. Smith suggest on the radio that black quarterbacks are still questioned more for their intelligence. To which I say "poppycock". (yeah that's right I don't know what it means but I said it.) Who are the two most questioned mentally guys at quarterback in football... hmmmm could it be Rex Grossman and Brett Favre? Of course it is cause they will trow the ball at a player surrounded by hungry alligators and sharks. And Mr. Smith what color are they.... hmmmm... white. In Farve's case White with a capital "W." I mean how more white can you get.

A similar logic for Mr. Sheffield and Mr. Bonds. I believe in racism... I believe it is still prevelant in our society... I believe it is one of the greatest social ills of our time... but you two are not crapped on cause you're black. You are a couple of assholes. So shut the fuck up and go spent your millions. You're universally disliked cause your assholes... just like that Pierzinski fucker. He's white... but low and behold he's an asshole, so everyone hates him.

All right enough yelling sports crumudgenry.

Movies, movies, movies

A break from the old Turkey trip to some pop culture stuff. First off, good god did they fuck up the fantastic four. They fucked the Fantastic Four, Dr Doom, the Silver Surfer, and Galactus. Boy I sound like a dork... but who cares. There should be a rule in film making much like your momma told you when you were a kid, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," only it will be a little different for the film industry "If you can't make anything good, go find another job."

I also saw Superbad. This movie is fantastic, and it made me miss High School. That's a tough one... actually making me miss high school. But I swear I was those kids, no I never went to parties, but that was the fantasy of that movie. I didn't get the hot girl... but that too was the fantasy of the movie. But I wore vests, got shit faced drunk with dorks, and got my best friend in trouble when he went home and barfed. Kudos to these guys for their beautiful dork fantasies, we need more Superbad, Knocked Up, and 40-Year Old Virgin.