Steve McQueen's Head

A friend of mine put an old story of mine (It's on my blog somewhere) up on his website... If you haven't read my brown bag story to http://www.stevemcqueenshead.com/

I got my new T-shirt (like the new design) which reminded me about the story. The site consistently makes me laug so go look at it.

Dr. Kalant is a big vagina

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-benny-bull-suedapr22,1,2429632.story

All right let me get this straight... You have court side seats, give the mascot a high five... the mascot trips... tries to stay afloat by grabbing your arm and you sue him. (Note to jurors: this guy didn't even leave the game. If you were really hurt that bad wouldn't you leave the game?) Well screw you... you rich asshole. Do what Benny the Bull would do. Smoke a blunt and take a few months off.

I guess we know what the Bulls-eye is for... lawsuits.

All right I think it's time for Bjork to stop making crap

http://www.pitchfork.tv/videos/bjork-wanderlust


Or at the very least dump Mathew Barney... cause she's getting way too over the top with tis crap. Hell I like the swan dress even... but this is just.... well silly.

I would like to play with her heard of Snufalufaguses though.

Please Stop Hitting Me... The glory that is "The Signal"

If violence is a problem for you.... do not watch the Signal. If non-linear story telling is a problem for you.... do not watch the signal. If hallucinatory freak outs are a problem for you do not watch the signal. If hearing "I've got this, you just finish jump starting your head!" then seeing someone drill into a head, while it is in a vice, stick electrodes in and talk to it is a problem for you... you do not want to watch the signal. If seeing the most mother fucking awesome movie on the planet is a problem for you...do not watch the signal.

Oh my god this movie is a brilliant example of story telling, violence, insanity and horror. Think a mixture of the high octane horror and violence of the 28 days later series, with the story telling style of Reservoir Dogs, and the sick dark humor of the Cohen Brothers all wrapped up in an interesting and dare I say relatively new horror idea. The basic premise is a signal has gone out... over the TV, the radio, the phones and anything else that can receive a signal.... a signal has gone out that makes ya crazy. And by crazy I mean violently crazy but not mindless like the people in the 28 days later series. Just amped up base emotions mixed with hallucinatory delusions. Sure it's similar to Stephen King's "The Cell" (which Eli Roth is making into a movie... this one probably pissed them off) and an early Cronenberg movie called Shivers, but the execution is fresh. If ya like horror movies watch this one... Over the top excellence. I mean just look at the weapon this character made.

Headline from the Onion

Charlton Heston's Gun Taken From Cold Dead HandsGod I love the onion...

If you don't read it... as they would put it... your dumb.

http://www.theonion.com/content/index

How to get New Yorkers to Smile

So I've busted up my knee.. need surgery all that fun stuff.

But out of this experience comes one truth that is good. Even grumpy ass New Yorkers love a dude on crutches. As I struggle around day to day I've come to notice everyone is smiling at me. Doesn't matter age, sex, color, everyone gets that nervous "what happened to you, glad it's not me" smile on their face as I deal with them.

This morning entering a coffee shop, an elderly lady bolted across 10 feet to open the door for me. A hipster at the counter was angrily querying the lady behind the counter about why his order wasn't done, then turned to see me, smiled and let me go in front of him. I asked for something that was on a counter, mentioned I needed a bag to go grab it, and before I knew what was happening an Asian customer ran over and grabbed it for me. Then while trying to pour some liquid sugar into my iced coffee my crutch slipped out from my armpit, and smacked this mustached business man in the face. He looked up, smiled at me, and said "what happened to my leg?" As I was leaving the place, pushing the door open with my head a black construction worker outside saw my sorry display and dashed over to open the door for me, all while whistling at a hot girl walking by. God, sometimes I love New York.

So if you're having a bad day. Pull out the crutches and see if people treat ya a bit different (warning don't go on the subway and test this theory... people are to pissed and trained to ignore one another down there).